17 February, 2018

1 adjectif + 1 nom (2e partie)

In the preceding blog post, I introduced 2 words, philoxenos (adjective) and philoxenia (noun).

What I am going to say next will not make a shred of sense unless you've looked at what I've already written - and I hope, if you call yourself a follower of Jesus, that you might take time to read it if He has given you some free time (and you're on the internet right now!).

I wanted to give some real-life examples, experiences I've had, to illustrate what I think IS this true hospitality, this idea of philoxenos or philoxenia. This word group that highlights showing the love of a friend to a person that we might be least comfortable with.

~

Example 1: Pre-existing group of Christians (around 8 girls).
A group of believing girls are standing around chatting after the Christian meeting. None of them are close friends of mine, though as an extreme extrovert who loves people I'm always happy to talk to or get to know any of my sisters in Christ a bit more. I join their conversation.

What happens next has got to be what philoxenia is all about.

Whilst the girl currently speaking doesn't necessarily stop talking, she and all others in the group subtly but surely widen and rearrange the circle in which they are standing. Very slightly - to include my late arrival. As much as they can in a medium-sized group, they also include me in eye-contact as whoever speaks, speaks. If one girl decides that the conversation requires a bit of filling-in-the-background-information, she tells me briefly in a low voice. If I decide to join in the chatter, they reciprocate. And so on. Though I don't see myself as necessarily belonging to this group of Christian sisters - they have geographically, non-verbally and verbally made me welcome.

~

Example 2: Passenger on bus ride.
Have just boarded a bus away from college. One of my Christian brothers, whom I know only vaguely by face and possibly name, rushes onto the bus just before the door closes. Have seen this one around campus for nearly 4 years, but because I've been a crazy-busy part-timer over that period and he appears to be a combination of very quiet plus super busy (and always seems to be around the same little mixed group of friends), we've never had a formal conversation at all. Not even an introductory one, I think!

Though he's obviously quiet and quietly spoken - he takes the initiative to make conversation. Of course, being happy to chat to anybody, I'm up for it (as noted during Example #1).

I am not this brother's friend. We have never spoken before, to my knowledge. Since then, I think we have been in the same vicinity to have only one other conversation, and that's OK.

But it's noteworthy that, although I'm not part of his friendship group, and although it's probably a sacrifice of his emotional capital to start and maintain a conversation with an extremely chatty extrovert like me, his attitude strikes me as philoxenos. He is friendly and kind, and though I don't view myself as anything like him - certainly not the kind of person he would make friends or connect with easily, this does not stop him from making an effort.

~

Example 3: 2 friends going to have coffee.

I join 2 other Christian sisters after lunch having a chat. After some brief conversation on how our morning classes were, one of the 2 girls indicates that she and the other are going to walk to a nearby café to catch up (she's a full-timer, our friend is a part-timer). "Are you free? Want to join us?" she says.

It was clear that in the time before I joined this chat, they had planned to catch up together, just the 2 of them. Like so many other situations I've been in (and almost all with Christians training for church leadership/ministry at this college), they could so easily have said their farewells and walked off for their little catch-up because they weren't prepared to be THAT inclusive.. .. ..

But philoxenia was at work here. They took me along on their close-friends-style coffee catch-up, openly shared news, struggles and prayer points, invited me to do the same even though I was technically playing gooseberry/a third wheel, and I think they may even have paid for my drink afterwards. They were a couple of philoi, close friends who knew each other from before, and I was the outsider, the xenos - but in the whole interaction they treated me with the same level of openness that I think they still would have shown had I not joined them at all that day.
________________


Now I'm NOT saying we Christians need to be like this all the time.
I recognise we all have different levels of energy and different personalities.

But what I've tried to illustrate above is a general attitude of godliness - an openness and willingness to share with others even if you're not particular friends (and maybe never will be); even if you might not get along straightaway; even if you had other more private plans.

These are, I hope, encouraging stories that hopefully may inspire you in your Christian walk & conduct. Not because you can, from your own strength, or even of your own free will - but because you (and I) have a Master in heaven who gives us the suffficient grace we need in every interaction to be like this.


So how will you be philoxenos, show philoxenia, towards those outside of your comfort zone?

~

L/T.

1 adjectif + 1 nom (1e partie)

1 adjective, and 1 noun.

Both have to do with the concept we call "hospitality". But not quite in the way you'd expect.

Both are Greek words, so closely related that it made sense on f'book to write about them in one sitting.


φιλόξενος [philoxenos], ον - an adjective φιλοξενία [philoxenia], ας, ἡ - a noun

(lit., Loving of strangers, or, Friend of foreigners) What follows is what I wrote on these words, in a Note on my f'book wall. ________________ These 2 words only appear a total of five times in the NT but they are EPIC.
And not in a modern sense - I’m talking the pre-Generation-X definition of epic, a Homer’s Iliad style understanding of epic... Each is a compound word; made of 2 separate words, “philos” and “xenos”. PHILOS The “philos” word is the kind of love one has for friends. In the Gospels it is used of Jesus (He’s a friend of publicans & sinners, MATT. 11 & LUKE 7) and by Him when talking about the kind of friends we’d lend anything to (if they nagged us hard enough, LUKE 11); the kind of friend we’d invite to celebrate with us (LUKE 15), the kind that’s a bridegroom’s BFF (JOHN 3). In John’s gospel Jesus uses it a lot when talking to/of His own friends (e.g. Lazarus - JN 11:11, and in JN. 15:13-15). XENOS For the “xenos” word, in all but one New Testament occurrence it is understood to mean someone (or something) strange or foreign. Someone non-local. Not of your people. Not anything like you. For example, the non-Jewish Christians of Ephesus - in comparison to the Jewish believers they did church with (EP. 2:12-19). So.. .. .. .. .. ..These 2 little compound sibling words, philoxenos and philoxenia, seem to be giving the impression that what we lamely call “hospitality” is, in fact, the following: the treatment of strangers or foreigners - that presumably we’ve never met before/don’t know well/may even feel really awkward towards - as if they were our close and valued friends that we’d do anything for or with. ~ LEADERS. My friends. My fellow leaders. My overseers... You know those 2 passages that somewhere in your ministry training somebody showed you? The 1 Timothy 3 and the Titus 1 text? (If we want to sound impressive we call them The Pastoral Epistles.) Guess which word appears in both, telling YOU what YOU need to be like in order to be a godly leader, above reproach..? Oh yes it is. That little word, philoxenos. In the Timothy and Titus lists of leadership qualities, it’s just one word and you could almost miss it - but the apostle Paul does include it. “An overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach” (1 TIM. 3:2 - δεῖ οὖν τν ἐπίσκοπον.. .. φιλόξενον).. ..or.. ..“an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined” (TITUS 1:7-8 - δεῖ γαρ τον ἐπίσκοπον.. .. φιλόξενον). The point? Leaders = PHILOXENOS. I love how that “must” (δεῖ) is used. It is necessary that we do this, be this, show this. It is NOT an option. It is compulsory to be like this! In the way I described above - seems like we must be philoxenos (in the accusative case): An attitude towards strangers or outsiders so familiar that it reflects the same treatment we’d give to, or at least the same heart we’d have for, the close friends we’d pick for our bridal party if one were single and God ordained for one to then get married. {Oh, and don’t think I forgot about philoxenia - when used in the letters to the Romans and the Hebrews, it is in commands addressed to any Christian, not directly leaders at all: “..practise hospitality”, ROM. 12:13 - την φιλοξενίαν διώκοντες^ - and actually, that diokontes^ word seems more a “Pursue” than “”Practise” word.. “..do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers”, HEB. 13:2 - τῆς φιλοξενίας μη ἐπιλανθάνεσθε. No excuses for any Christian here.} [WARNING. Rant coming.. .. ..] Do we actually live these words? Does philoxenos describe us, if we’ve been called/encouraged into leadership? Do we pursue philoxenia, even if we see ourselves as ordinary, average, lay/pew-sitting Christians? Does this kind of hospitable love even for those outside our comfort zones exist in us? Because it feels like the Bible is saying it should. Do we actually treat people this way - every one, equally? Every person, regardless of differences or personality clashes? Will I invite and include everyone, or just the Christians I feel it’s easiest to get along with, the ones I click with best, just my special friends or my BFFs? Are we willing to care for and share with any Christian that we encounter, when we encounter them? Or limit ourselves to just the people we’ve always hung out with and feel most comfortable around? Ask around to your believing friends or mentors. Do a philoxenos/philoxenia check. Do one on me - I’m not immune, I’m not above this. But for God’s sake, consider these 2 sibling words. Because I will say, right here and now, that we all need to work on this as Christians. In the last 4 years, when I’ve felt hurt by Christian sisters or brothers - especially those training for leadership, those our communities view as exhibiting godly character - I’d hazard that the problem was an absence of philoxenia; that they in some way weren’t making any effort to be philoxenos. It’s not automatic and I could probably think up a ton of personal excuses for why you, or I, should be able to ignore/rationalise away this little word and its implications for us. But I cannot, and I will not, because this is God’s Word. A word that, if we be His servants, we are called to live by. ‘Nuff said. ________________ L/T.