1 adjectif + 1 nom (2e partie)

In the preceding blog post, I introduced 2 words, philoxenos (adjective) and philoxenia (noun).

What I am going to say next will not make a shred of sense unless you've looked at what I've already written - and I hope, if you call yourself a follower of Jesus, that you might take time to read it if He has given you some free time (and you're on the internet right now!).

I wanted to give some real-life examples, experiences I've had, to illustrate what I think IS this true hospitality, this idea of philoxenos or philoxenia. This word group that highlights showing the love of a friend to a person that we might be least comfortable with.

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Example 1: Pre-existing group of Christians (around 8 girls).
A group of believing girls are standing around chatting after the Christian meeting. None of them are close friends of mine, though as an extreme extrovert who loves people I'm always happy to talk to or get to know any of my sisters in Christ a bit more. I join their conversation.

What happens next has got to be what philoxenia is all about.

Whilst the girl currently speaking doesn't necessarily stop talking, she and all others in the group subtly but surely widen and rearrange the circle in which they are standing. Very slightly - to include my late arrival. As much as they can in a medium-sized group, they also include me in eye-contact as whoever speaks, speaks. If one girl decides that the conversation requires a bit of filling-in-the-background-information, she tells me briefly in a low voice. If I decide to join in the chatter, they reciprocate. And so on. Though I don't see myself as necessarily belonging to this group of Christian sisters - they have geographically, non-verbally and verbally made me welcome.

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Example 2: Passenger on bus ride.
Have just boarded a bus away from college. One of my Christian brothers, whom I know only vaguely by face and possibly name, rushes onto the bus just before the door closes. Have seen this one around campus for nearly 4 years, but because I've been a crazy-busy part-timer over that period and he appears to be a combination of very quiet plus super busy (and always seems to be around the same little mixed group of friends), we've never had a formal conversation at all. Not even an introductory one, I think!

Though he's obviously quiet and quietly spoken - he takes the initiative to make conversation. Of course, being happy to chat to anybody, I'm up for it (as noted during Example #1).

I am not this brother's friend. We have never spoken before, to my knowledge. Since then, I think we have been in the same vicinity to have only one other conversation, and that's OK.

But it's noteworthy that, although I'm not part of his friendship group, and although it's probably a sacrifice of his emotional capital to start and maintain a conversation with an extremely chatty extrovert like me, his attitude strikes me as philoxenos. He is friendly and kind, and though I don't view myself as anything like him - certainly not the kind of person he would make friends or connect with easily, this does not stop him from making an effort.

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Example 3: 2 friends going to have coffee.
I join 2 other Christian sisters after lunch having a chat. After some brief conversation on how our morning classes were, one of the 2 girls indicates that she and the other are going to walk to a nearby café to catch up (she's a full-timer, our friend is a part-timer). "Are you free? Want to join us?" she says.

It was clear that in the time before I joined this chat, they had planned to catch up together, just the 2 of them. Like so many other situations I've been in (and almost all with Christians training for church leadership/ministry at this college), they could so easily have said their farewells and walked off for their little catch-up because they weren't prepared to be THAT inclusive.. .. ..

But philoxenia was at work here. They took me along on their close-friends-style coffee catch-up, openly shared news, struggles and prayer points, invited me to do the same even though I was technically playing gooseberry/a third wheel, and I think they may even have paid for my drink afterwards. They were a couple of philoi, close friends who knew each other from before, and I was the outsider, the xenos - but in the whole interaction they treated me with the same level of openness that I think they still would have shown had I not joined them at all that day.
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Now I'm NOT saying we Christians need to be like this all the time.
I recognise we all have different levels of energy and different personalities.

But what I've tried to illustrate above is a general attitude of godliness - an openness and willingness to share with others even if you're not particular friends (and maybe never will be); even if you might not get along straightaway; even if you had other more private plans.

These are, I hope, encouraging stories that hopefully may inspire you in your Christian walk & conduct. Not because you can, from your own strength, or even of your own free will - but because you (and I) have a Master in heaven who gives us the suffficient grace we need in every interaction to be like this.

So how will you be philoxenos, show philoxenia, towards those outside of your comfort zone?

~

L/T.