2 "pères"

This post is sacred to the memory of 2 men of my father's generation:

Robert Yap
&
Howard Wong-See
________________

In 1989 my parents' marriage was destroyed by revelations of unwise conduct on my father's part (adultery resulting in an illegitimate child).

Over the 14 years that followed, Robert Yap & his wife Doreen showed a level of kindness to my mother unrivalled by most. And a loyalty which withstood my mother's decision to remarry in 2003 - even when many other friends who moved in the same circles refused to support her.

*wiping away tears*

I had known the Yap family since my early years; there is a photo of my twin & I with Robert's eldest daughter on Balmoral Beach when the 3 of us were all still in nappies. We continued friendship with this daughter in upper primary Sunday-school, then high school youth group, then university-aged fellowship. In fact, I had the privilege & blessing of doing Bible-study with both of Robert's daughters.

At one time Robert shared office space with my father (prior to dad's marriage-devastating actions). Even after my mother chose to discontinue attending our church, I never saw "auntie" Doreen without her asking me, "How is your mum?"
________________

I also grew up with Howard's eldest daughter; we did our HSCs in the same year, & even before that (as with Robert's daughter) we had been through Sunday School, youthgroup & uni.-aged fellowship together. I then spent 2 years in a Bible-study group with the younger of his two sons.

Howard was a good friend of my now-stepfather, & like Robert Yap, maintained contact with him and my mother after they married in 2003.
________________

The title of this post translates as "2 fathers". And that is what these men were, in a sense, to me. You see, Chinese-backrgound community can be quite close-knit; & both these men, committed Christians, were like second fathers to me in the years after my parents' marriage break-up.

When I heard that Howard had died so suddenly - when I knew that it was only a matter of time for Robert - all I could recall was my last conversation with them, together with their wives. I was able, that last time, to share news with them that I could not say to my "real" fathers at the time (biological & step-). And they listened carefully, & were supportive, & understanding - and, as always, kind.

Yes, I knew them as "uncles", and I honour them here as "fathers".

They are now before the throne of God above, free now from death, mourning, crying & pain
- but I grieve with their families still living,
and I will sincerely miss them both.

Uncle Robert & Uncle Howard:
I dedicate this to you.

L/T.